I promise

It isn’t a promise for a lifetime… its much more… that much I can promise 

Crushed Petals of Love

The petals crush underneath her feet,

Brings memories that are too hard to defeat

 

The crown of thorns entangle her tresses,

Amidst the thoughts the Chosen One blesses

 

Hail, my angel! And sleep through the war,

But have mercy and don’t wake up to be the whore

 

For she will enter the abyss of your pure soul,

Leaving you with nothing but a black hole

 

Sunlit smiles will be your timeless foes,

As there lie crushed petals of love under your toes

iAgree

 

“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”

Heroically lost, heroically found…

The renditions of one’s soul are boundless. Sometimes it’s a starchy old thing and sometimes as nouveau as the first rains of summer. But I am yet to figure out what is my soul made up of. Sometimes I do things that would even amaze a saint and sometimes I do things that would make a pirate feel proud. I can’t handle the dilemma and the dichotomy that my soul presents in front of me everyday… today there might be a glorious sunrise in my soul with bright yellow beams shining all over and tomorrow it would be murky and evil. Sometimes I am scared of myself and sometimes I can’t get enough of myself. I wish I could just runaway from it but it’s such an integral part of my being that it refuses to leave me…even for a moment… I was always searching for that perfect companionship all my life where I am not judged because of my words or actions but I am loved and respected for the same… sadly, little did I realise that I wasn’t going to get what I want. That’s when in the tandem of things I feel that my soul is heroically lost and then heroically found in the later moments of life…

The…

the dilemma
the excitement
the race within the body
the heavy breathless state
the pursuit to be calm
the long yet short ring
the smile as wide as summer
the courage to press the green
the melodic hello
the wait for a sign
the realization dawns
the call missed in time
the smile still remained
the dreamy distant eyes
the voice unheard
the melody resounds
the decisions – whether or not
the dilemma
the excitement
the never ending smiles
all thanks to you

This one’s for you…

You make me

Dream about you

All the time

Day dreaming

Vivid scenes

Opening my eyes

With a broad smile…

Everything that

You have said

Is all coming back…

In a different light,

Every funny moment spent

Still reverberates a smile…

I wish I could

Drift away

Permanently in my

Real world of dreams,

Away from

This real world

Where I can’t reach you

I can’t feel a thing.

To a place that is unknown

To a place where we can be born

Again

As lovers

As friends

And

As soulmates

Curious things and Prufrock!

Curious things are happening, and I do not quite know what to think! It’s that wonderful stage when things are just waking up from dormancy but even then there is an awkward hope of despair. Does asking questions mean being more afraid than I ought to? I believe it is always like this, it is a gamble and don’t people just don’t take it… I am like Prufrock, my goodness! I am the living image of Prufrock! Is it a mistake to hold back for the sake of friendship?

Sometimes I think that they might get together, and although it must be wonderful to have friends going that way, it does make me feel unhappy.

And it is all because of Elf.

In the meantime, things are sweet with Miko. However, I can’t think of it that way, not because it cannot be for long, right? We must part ways and I am happy with the joy that we share this way. He is my bud, sweet darling. I could take care of him always

HOW WEIRD!!!

Prufrock must be playing on my mind quite a bit! This one feels like stepping into Prufrock’s boots! I penned it, literally, sitting at the office stairs two days back.

The Prufrock in Me

This city of joy, of mirth, of life. Oh *City*!

I return to your womb with memories of a coffee bar bell.

Spun over hours of idle talk and banter,

Of laughter and restraint emotions, heart pell-mell.

I just wait for you all my life -

Because you will never ask, and I could never tell

Curious things are happening, and I do not quite know what to think! It’s that wonderful stage when things are just waking up from dormancy but even then there is an awkward hope of despair. Does asking questions mean being more afraid than I ought to? I believe it is always like this, it is a gamble and don’t people just don’t take it… I am like Prufrock, my goodness! I am the living image of Prufrock! Is it a mistake to hold back for the sake of friendship?

Sometimes I think that they might get together, and although it must be wonderful to have friends going that way, it does make me feel unhappy.

And it is all because of Elf.

In the meantime, things are sweet with Miko. However, I can’t think of it that way, not because it cannot be for long, right? We must part ways and I am happy with the joy that we share this way. He is my bud, sweet darling. I could take care of him always

HOW WEIRD!!!

Prufrock must be playing on my mind quite a bit! This one feels like stepping into Prufrock’s boots! I penned it, literally, sitting at the office stairs two days back.

The Prufrock in Me

This city of joy, of mirth, of life. Oh *City*!

I return to your womb with memories of a coffee bar bell.

Spun over hours of idle talk and banter,

Of laughter and restraint emotions, heart pell-mell.

I just wait for you all my life -

Because you will never ask, and I could never tell

Elf, are you reading this?

Dear Elf,

I did watch the movie today, it is called 21 grams of course, I smiled… I also read and reread the poem that is recited in it, the one by Eugenio Montejo… It goes like this-

The earth turned to bring us closer,
it spun on itself and within us,
and finally joined us together in this dream
as written in the Symposium.
Nights passed by, snowfalls and solstices;
time passed in minutes and millennia.
An ox cart that was on its way to Nineveh arrived in Nebraska
A rooster was singing some distance from the world,
in one of the thousand pre-lives of our fathers.
The earth was spinning with its music
carrying us on board;
it didn’t stop turning a single moment
as if so much love, so much that’s miraculous
was only an adagio written long ago
in the Symposium’s score.

Translated by Peter Boyle

how strange it is? Isn’t it? It took so many co-incidences for us to meet, and so many more for us not to, before. Before, when there was still time. What is co-incidence after all? It is a chance meeting of two events, people; they happen at the same moment and everything changes. So many might have occurred for us to meet, don’t your think so? They say, everyone deserves a second chance… Why can’t I have one more? Sometimes, I think I had mine, and I let it go, I gave it up, long back, when nothing was as it is now.

I want to see you happy; maybe you won’t be happy with me… But, are you happy now? Are you?

Love,
A