A very wise man once said: “First few days is bad – then gets better. But seriously, you have put faith in this thing and derive strength from it. Every time u touch it – it should remind you that your freedom is at stake. Giving in is a sign of weakness; c’mon – I expected you to be stronger. It’s all about mental endurance. Be it marathon training, a director making a movie, bill gates betting on the latest windows OS or a street side beggar persistently begging every single car – its all in the mind. So next time you give in, its not because your body needed it, it’s because your mind is weak. Honestly, I expect you to do better than that…”
But I wonder if its about being strong, or is it about having the willingness in the first place. Where does strength come from? The will – hence ‘willpower’. But where there is no will how can there be a way? Besides whether I follow it or don’t, this does remind me that my freedom is at stake. It always is, at all points of time, in everything I do. Even now – while following the so-called promise my freedom is infringed. Isn’t it?
It cant get worse than this….! Rotflmao 
1. 1. Uh, hey baby.
2. Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said “come.”
3. You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let’s like get into each other’s life or whatever.
4. Uh, like let’s drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.
5. Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
6. What’s your sign? Is it “Yield”? Huh huh huh huh.
7. Would you like carry my books for me?
8. If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?
9. I can make you feel like I’ve never had sex before.
10. My lips are registered weapons.
11. I’m not trying to pick you up. You’re like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?
12. If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public.
13. If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.
14. If you ever had sex with a machine, that’s what it’s like with me. ‘Cause I’m like a sex machine.
15. If you’re really hot, I bet I can cool you down.
16. Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? ‘Cause that’s what I’m looking for.
17. Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me?
18. You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it
Another day, another week, another month is here. Bob Dylan is still crooning somewhere. He is telling me that I believe in you. I have now gone back to the old days of thinking about people who are not really there. Sometimes I feel so disenchanted with life, what is the meaning of all this? I live, and then I die, and everything in between, does it really matter. So much pain, so much suffering, so much sadness, reaching out for a truth that must not exist. Everything is reeking of rot, it seems sometimes like everything is dead and we are only believing it all to be real. I close my eyes and rise above my little space, above, and suddenly I can see the land getting farther away from me, my little space getting enmeshed with more and more of sameness. There is no novelty left in anything, nothing seems to be fresh- we are all the same, mirror reflections of each other, only believing to be different. And yet knowing we aren’t. After all this I allow myself to be carried away by everything that is putrid and decaying. Why can I not spread more love? More laughter? More happiness? I too have become a cog in the wheel churning out more and more nonsense feeling satisfied with the selfishness of the self, of all that I think is mine. But nothing here is really mine. I own nothing, I only have something for rent, for sometime and one day everything is washed away back to shores from where they come. I feel torn apart, torn apart from the two visions I see ahead of me, the one that I see all around, of money of the riches that even I aspire to achieve someday maybe, and then there is the one that sacrifices all that for something much greater, more divine. I don’t believe in God, I don’t know if there is God. if it matters or not whether i do or not, but what about the now, the now that is screaming out for help, that is standing ahead of me with its arms outstretched begging for help, I want to reach out, spread some love, some happiness. All changes begin from the self I think, maybe if I change myself bit by bit, the world around me will also begin to change, and I shall see it again in all its beauty and splendor. Embrace life, embrace love.
I penned it, literally, sitting at the office stairs two days back.Curious things are happening, and I do not quite know what to think! It’s that wonderful stage when things are just waking up from dormancy but even then there is an awkward hope of despair. Does asking questions mean being more afraid than I ought to? I believe it is always like this, it is a gamble and don’t people just don’t take it… I am like Prufrock, my goodness! I am the living image of Prufrock! Is it a mistake to hold back for the sake of friendship?
Sometimes I think that they might get together, and although it must be wonderful to have friends going that way, it does make me feel unhappy.
And it is all because of Elf.
In the meantime, things are sweet with Miko. However, I can’t think of it that way, not because it cannot be for long, right? We must part ways and I am happy with the joy that we share this way. He is my bud, sweet darling. I could take care of him always
HOW WEIRD!!!
Prufrock must be playing on my mind quite a bit! This one feels like stepping into Prufrock’s boots! I penned it, literally, sitting at the office stairs two days back.
The Prufrock in Me
This city of joy, of mirth, of life. Oh *City*!
I return to your womb with memories of a coffee bar bell.
Spun over hours of idle talk and banter,
Of laughter and restraint emotions, heart pell-mell.
I just wait for you all my life -
Because you will never ask, and I could never tell
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME:
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what’s bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women’s crotches.
7. Neither does any dishes.
8. Both fart shamelessly.
9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
10. Both like dominance games.
11. Both are suspicious of the postman.
12. Neither understands what you see in cats.
HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN:
1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.
4. Dogs admit when they’re jealous.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
6. Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)
7. You can train a dog.
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
10. Dogs understand what “no” means.
11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
Courtesy: www.lifeisajoke.com
Dear Elf,
I did watch the movie today, it is called 21 grams of course, I smiled… I also read and reread the poem that is recited in it, the one by Eugenio Montejo… It goes like this-
The earth turned to bring us closer,
it spun on itself and within us,
and finally joined us together in this dream
as written in the Symposium.
Nights passed by, snowfalls and solstices;
time passed in minutes and millennia.
An ox cart that was on its way to Nineveh arrived in Nebraska
A rooster was singing some distance from the world,
in one of the thousand pre-lives of our fathers.
The earth was spinning with its music
carrying us on board;
it didn’t stop turning a single moment
as if so much love, so much that’s miraculous
was only an adagio written long ago
in the Symposium’s score.
Translated by Peter Boyle
how strange it is? Isn’t it? It took so many co-incidences for us to meet, and so many more for us not to, before. Before, when there was still time. What is co-incidence after all? It is a chance meeting of two events, people; they happen at the same moment and everything changes. So many might have occurred for us to meet, don’t your think so? They say, everyone deserves a second chance… Why can’t I have one more? Sometimes, I think I had mine, and I let it go, I gave it up, long back, when nothing was as it is now.
I want to see you happy; maybe you won’t be happy with me… But, are you happy now? Are you?
Love,
A
I thought of writing this poem for a man I met sometime back who has a terrific nose. I sat and stared at his nose so hard that the rest of him sort of faded away and all that I could recall was that wondrous Greek God like nose.
Met him at a party last week,
A man of manners and sapience deep.
But what struck me most,
About our very cordial host.
Was not his person, rather his nose,
Thus, to ogle at, it was his snout I chose!
What beauty, what an artifact,
Losing all sense of propriety and tact.
I rushed to my Adonis ‘Ian bebe,
Besotted by his wondrous neb.
For this nose boy that I dote,
Are the following lines I wrote-
Thy nose is flawless, like it’s chiseled in teak.
It magnanimity nothing less, than the lofty Himalayan peak!
So sharp and so straight, so very confident of its fate.
Thy nose will make Narcissus weep, for Echo, thine can no longer keep.
Together we shall honour thy nose & make jealous all unfortunate those
Who like me in bitter woes, have been born with a flat platypus nose
But you, my love, my darling rose, shall always be known for thy nose.
Here I am, another week, another day
Wondering, how some more of that time has slipped away
Here I am, just a body, one among so many
That is tossed upon the sands, like a nickel, like a penny.
Why do I try so hard, to break the unbreakable
to hold back what is unattainable
to twist into shape a body that will soon wither away
Polishing colours that too shall fade away.
Why do I despair so? If all that there is to life -
Is just time…time that will soon trickle away.
Lenny rode a motor bike
thinking he was zany smart
but when he was hit by Mike
he knew he was just a tart.
When you have your silk
In green and pink
Any colour will do
Except green and pink
daydream through a day
and sleep too is a reverie
because there is no other way
to see dreams through reality.
When people think you are a fool
and know not what gems you hide
should you then as a rule
protest that you are not a fool?
When there is someone to love
one who cares to hold your hand
and guide you through this life
is it only then that life finds its meaning?
Knocking at the door,
in the middle of the night,
at half past four
when i switched off the light
came five little goblins
with red satin caps
a basket full of clanging tins
and strange coloured maps.
I blinked hard twice
and pinched
yet could not believe my eyes
I flinched!
Goblins at my door?!?
It shook me to my core!
And then, the eldest spoke!
With his wiry finger did he poke-
“howdy miss, how do you do?
We’re the goblins of the far north
we’ve come to visit you!”
And so they marched in
right upto the den
all five little goblins
with such confidence!
When I rushed back
they told me to calm
handed me some chocolate
and an ache curing balm!
“We read in the papers
you’ve been a little low
this is not caper
to you, this we shall show
we’re your angels in disguise
here to love, not despise
lovelorn maidens we cure
of this you can be sure”
so they wished me night
off they were out of sight
again I blinked hard twice,
and pinched
I could not believe my eyes,
I flinched!
I sat upon the bed
and did all that they said
I chomped on the chocolate
and rubbed on some balm
have I lost my mind
or is this a joke of some kind??
Suddenly heavy lids overcame me
I flopped on the bed
could not think or see
off to sleep I fell dead!
Vimal tagged on this one ages ago and I had conveniently forgotten about it… and today I am so bored that I have to do this to entertain myself…I have to jot down 25 random things about myself…sigh! I guess none of them would come as a surprise to you though…read on!
1. I am obsessed with my tattoo and I am thinking of getting another one soon
2. I loooveeeee to eat pani puri anywhere and anytime
3. I am an ‘adrak chai’ freak
4. I hate coffee and anything to do with coffee…ugh!
5. I love chicken biryani, king prawns and white wine
6. Sometimes I tend to forget what I was saying and have a tendency to stop right in the middle of the sentence…and then embarrass myself
7. There are times when I am laughing all alone at work and people think that I am a freak
8 …which I accept I am
9. I prefer cars and bikes to men and I have a tendency to hoot whenever a sexy car/bike passes by
10. I am addicted to music and I think DJ Tiesto is God
11. I revel in chaos and disorder… and cleanliness scares me
12. I am a die-hard fan of Che Guevara and Barack Obama
13. I prefer Italian cuisine to Indian cuisine and I can cook very good pasta in white sauce
14. Sometimes I have a nasty habit of screaming at my brother whenever he irritates me at work
15. I am a rebel at heart
16. Randomness amuses me
17. I love whiskey and I hate vodka and gin (they are too girlie for me…!)
18. I wish I could swim the English Channel one day
19. One day I am going to meet Paris Hilton, slap her and teach her how to spend money
20. I love to write…and I mean totally totally love to write… as long as I have a pen and paper in my hand, I think I will survive
21. I think I took up melodrama as a subject in my college as I love to do nautanki all the time and put myself in unimaginable situations
22.Sometimes I wish I was not as wise as I am
23. I love the colour black…and anything black intrigues me including shadows, b/w photography, night, etc.
24. I want to go to Cannes one day and visit the shrine of David Ogilvy
25. I have an excellent road sense and I can take you for A———–to————–B in exactly 30 minutes
26. I hate math and anything to do algebra, geometry, blah, blah…
I pass this tag to Manushi, Nikhil (I am sure he will not do it!), Withering Willow, Sakhi, Nautankey, Reema, Chiranjib, Antara, Akeshwor, Viplove, Varghese
there…! Now go entertain yourself…!
I’m not trying to make anyone jealous here but I have some very exciting news to share…I’m sure it’s only because of all the charitable work I’ve been doing. Well, that and let’s face it, I am kind of a big deal.
See, I’ve been sent a very special personal invitation to join Donald Trump himself at a very exciting seminar held right here in my town. Not only was I personally invited but I received 2 complimentary VIP tickets. That’s right bitches; Don and I are tight like that.
Apparently I’m going to learn about property investment and how to be a Real Estate mogul. It’ll even teach me how to be my own boss..er.. Forever.
Now, the card only had a small sample of all the great things I’ll be learning but it does put emphasis on the fact that (and I quote): “This is what I have learned the hard way, in the streets, fighting to grow my empire and fighting to stay on top”
I’m not really sure what kinds of things you learn on the streets of Park Avenue but I’m sure it’ll be very eye-opening.
I’m pretty sure the signature is authentic and the card is hand-signed, after all what better things could he possibly be keeping busy with?
Don’t worry, I won’t forget about you while I’m off living my lavish lifestyle and making millions simply by looking at buildings.
*ROTFLMAO 
Something that I had read sometime back…
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you’re doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself… and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends… maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion…
We call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.”
Dear Homeless Man,
I hope your tap-dancing lessons are going well! I found out today that you have a twin brother, who looks exactly like you. Does he have the same Nike Shoes as you? If so, I think I may always think you are the same person. Sorry for the confusion, no wonder you looked at me like I was the crazy one when I asked you if you ever got a new oar.
I saw you and your brother fighting today. It saddened me deeply – families are the most important people in your life. Perhaps you were fighting over a female? Trust me, that bong woman who yells at people on patios and tries to grab their food is not worth a family feud.
Sure, if she stopped doing the crack and brushed her hair a little she could be pretty. If she ate something she could even be quite lovely but I’m sure there are more ladies for you two to deal with? I thought I’d let you know that that new wave you are doing with your hair? Very Donald-Trumpesque! Dress for success they say!
Kudo!
Alice
Pungent madness…
Sudden theories of anger…
Recluse of pain…
Inertia in thoughts…
Abrupt pockets of sunshine…
Dark shadows of soul…
Bigotry thoughts…
Screaming lies…
Sardonic laughter…
Derisive tears…
Glimmering smiles…
Soulful afterglow…
Lonely walks…
Sorry cries…
Willful psychosis…
Sparks of fire…
Raging retrospection…
Inherent truth…
Bruised blues…
Sweaty palms…
Anorexic feet…
Panging pain…
Crushed emotions…
Bittersweet moonlight…
Howling hormones…
Haunting melodies…
Crucifying past…
Surreal light…
I tried a new fruit this weekend, since I’m always on the lookout for fruits that aren’t a huge pain in my ass to prepare*. As I sprint out the door at 9.15 to reach work by 9.30, I need something efficient and easy – an orange just won’t cut it.
This fruit I tried hails from the Himalayan region of Tibet, apparently (although that part of Tibet is dry, cold at night and has basically all the ingredients you don’t want when growing fruit – but hey, I believe anything the nice Health Food Store Crazy Gawar Hippy tells me).
Behold the Tibetan Goji-berry!
Ok, now I just Wiki-pedia’d that to give you all a nice little link and got something about a Wolfberry…what the hell is going on here? Time to get Google involved.
I just uncovered a scandal in the fruit patch! Turns out those Wolfberry guys are selling their product as Goji berries – and Wikipedia is endorsing this! These poor Tibetan monks spend days blessing the little berries, rumored to make people happy for days (natural Viagra anyone?), and those Wolfberry growers just swarm into the US markets, labeling everything they can get their grubby little hands on as Goji berries.
I am shocked and appalled** but mostly disappointed.
Wasn’t that the worst when your parents said that to you? “I’m not mad, just disappointed”.
“Sooo…am I allowed to continue smoking pot and drinking your rye on our garage roof, or not?”
Where was I? Oh yes, Goji Berry “Scandal of the Century”. That’s it I’m starting a not-for-profit group benefiting the Rights of the Goji-Berry. That’s right, this is a war on Berry-imitation and I won’t stop until all perpetrators are dealt with accordingly, by being forced to eat Wolfberries by the handful. Anti-oxidant? I think not! How do like those Berries?
And to think, this was going to be a post about the nutritional benefits of a fruit. I’ve found my meaning in life.
*If it involves a knife – it’s too much work.
** mainly because I have nothing better to do with my time than look into a scandal involving mostly unheard of berries and some greedy fruit dudes.
Well here we are, Monday morning yet again. Why does Monday get 1/7th of my time? I’d way rather give Saturday half of Monday’s time. Can we start a petition for that? Or else just eradicate Mondays all together (although that leaves the problem of Tuesdays – they’ll start being the evil day and then we’ll have to deal with that. Soon the week will comprise of Friday, Saturday and Sunday but we’ll hate every other Friday because it will technically be a Monday).
Nevermind… lets move on…
Right now I just realised that I have been so miserable over the weekend that I should undergo a retail therapy at the earliest. And I just wonder as to why oh why wasn’t I wearing my new dress over the weekend? Why didn’t I put on some fake eyelashes and entertain myself? Why didn’t I brush my hair before leaving the house this morning?
I guess some things we’ll just never know.
