Mind’s Mayhem

In the midst of this mayhem in my head, I am unable to get the floss out. It isn’t melancholy or it isn’t indolence, it’s more to do with my current state of mind. I, for sure, don’t need Red Bull to pep me up but it’s more to do with the tornado that is rising in my head. Suddenly I am feeling oh so incompetent and hollow at work. All I can think of is my ability to be supremely inconsistent and the fact that I can surpass even a donkey in idiocy. Suddenly the walls are closing in and the mighty clouds are just about to fall like a brick on my head. It’s infuriating because I haven’t felt like this before.

 

Even while typing this, I am conscious of the grammar as I don’t want to fail here atleast! It’s like a wheel of life that has suddenly stopped. But you feel you are still in motion. Your entire metabolism is still moving for you don’t know what is happening! Fuck, I can’t think of that word which explains it! I am just inept of expressing myself right now and it is so getting on my nerves. The stress it is causing me in unbounded.

 

Did someone tie my hands up or am I being strangled by some monster under my bed? I wish I had the answer to this question. There are things which are simply bogging me down. It’s not that I don’t like my work. I so love it but somehow I am unable to prioritize it and in the process of prioritizing things and doing things perfectly I am wasting a lot of my time as in midst of achieving perfection (read: nirvana) I am losing out on time which is so essential. But then again the question that comes to my mind is that what am I running or rather let me put it as what am I waiting for? Is it bliss? Is it perfection? Is it smooth syndication of work and mind or is it the general mayhem that is supposed to crowd your brain every now and then?

 

*sigh!