Riots

My birthday was a riot…

Details later on…

Random Ver 1.0

What is sleep and boredom? Is it a God’s way of telling us that he cares or is the play of the mind on our subconscious or is it the figment of our soul or is it our rehearsal for death? Sometimes I wonder that why does boredom and sleep prevail when the world is moving in the exactly opposite direction. I know of people who sleep for 3 hours a day and are never bored. I mean how you can NOT be bored. Isn’t experiencing boredom a part of our daily routine? Can anyone ever appreciate work and ‘being busy’ without ever facing boredom? Sometimes I feel so bored at work and home that the only think I do is make wish lists. Yes, I am a person who loves to makes lists of all sorts. Be is a wish list or a to-do list or a shopping list or whatever. It makes me feel as if my uncontrollable life is in my hands. Bah! The fallacies of the mind amuse me and instigate me to ponder deep in the abyss of my soul. I have been soul searching since quite sometime and I have got answers which are beyond my beliefs but I have gradually learnt to accept them as they are essential to find that ceaseless Truth of life.

Work surely gives me an all time high but will that suffice for the rest of my life? Isn’t there anything beyond work? I guess its music. Music surely is the food for the soul and the essence of my being but once again I question myself that music is artificial and not natural. If there wasn’t this synthetic realization that had ever occurred to the Mozarts or the Tansens of this world, then where would I be? Lost in oblivion? Still searching for that eternal high in life? So technically speaking, my highs and lows of life are so dependent on someone else’s invention or someone else’s work? So what did nature do to me? I do love listening to the rustling of the leaves or crackle of a bonfire or the surreal sound of the oceans but doesn’t that give me a high or the motivation to go ahead in life? I have come to the conclusion that I can take nature for granted and the fact that it is always going to be there for me and will always stand the test of time for me. I guess that’s one reason why it’s my only representation of God as I know it will always be there for me and I can surely bask in its warmth and glory when my whole world is tumbling or is turning upside down. Nature, I believe, is the ode written to God to praise His Creation. I bow down to the greatest splendour of this Universe.

Did you?

This poem is about truth and pain…about life and death and life again…this poem is dedicated to all those fools who have deliberately shunned themselves from the truth of life…

Did the sun hit you with its harsh golden rays?
Did it shine on the earth with its mighty summer days?

Did I tell you what went wrong in your brain?
Did you wait for the moon to kiss the rain?

Did the mountains tell you the never ending tale?
Did they tell you how they went pale?

Did the sharks show you their vicious teeth?
Did they teach you how to stand up on your own feet?

Did the shadow of that stranger haunt you in your dreams?
Did his moves on you tear you with your screams?

Did he tell you that his love was eternal and forever?
Did you feel your heart tremble and shiver?

Did the smell of his aftershave linger on in your dreams?
Did you finally see through his wicked schemes?

Did you realize that his love is a game?
Did you feel that it is never going to be the same?

Did you finally wake up from your nightmare called life?
Did you end it with the jagged edges of your knife?

Did you cross that bridge called death?
Did you finally find the white coloured faith?

Did the God accept you in his kingdom of love?
Did the Satan give you his black thorny glove?

Did the truth of life finally dawn upon you now?
Did you finally take your undying vow?

A dedication to mom

This is one of its kind poems that I have read and it was so moving…it truly talks about what a person goes through before actually kissing death for good…infact its death personified in its own subtle way…

 

Went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn’t drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I’d get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn’t see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
‘The other guy is drunk,’ Mom,
And now I’m the one who will pay.

I’m lying here dying, Mom….
I wish you’d get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I’ll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn’t drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn’t think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I’m feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don’t think it’s fair.
I’m lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put ‘GOOD BOY ‘ on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I’m becoming very scared.
Please don’t cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn’t drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Kimya Dawson

The only song that has ever made sense to me…

Loose Lips by Kimya Dawson. Check her out on www.kimyadawson.com she is superbly random…just like me…!

loose lips might sink ships but loose gooses take trips
to san Francisco, double Dutch disco,
tech tv hottie, do it for scotty
do it for the living and do it for the dead
do it for the monsters under your bed
do it for the teenagers and do it for your mom
broken hearts hurt but they make us strong and

we won’t stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we’ll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we won’t stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we’ll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we’re just dancing, we’re just hugging,
singing, screaming, kissing, tugging
on the sleeve of how it used to be
how’s it gonna be?
i’ll drop kick russell stover, move into the starting over house
and know matt rouse and jest are watching me achieve my dreams

and we’ll pray, all damn day, every day,
that all this shit our president has got us in will go away
while we strive to figure out a way we can survive
these trying times without losing our minds

so if you wanna burn yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna cut yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna kill yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, i’ll be your friend

shysters live from scheme to scheme and my 4th quarter pipe dreams
are seeming more and more worth fighting for
so i’ll curate some situations, make my job a big vacation
and i’ll say FUCK BUSH AND FUCK THIS WAR
my war paint is sharpie ink and i’ll show you how much my shit stinks
and ask you what you think because your thoughts and words are powerful
they think we’re disposable, well both my thumbs opposable
are spelled out on a double word and triple letter score

we won’t stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we’ll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we won’t stop until somebody calls the cops
and even then we’ll start again and just pretend that
nothing ever happened

we’re just dancing, we’re just hugging,
singing, screaming, kissing, tugging
on the sleeve of how it used to be

Devil’s play

The thriller is a gory killer

And the weather is as light as a feather

Salty tears stream down your ears

Broken chairs shower you the sneers

Pick the picket fences

Dance till you lose your senses

Starry starry stars’ scars

Sit on the moon and gaze at Mars

Your halogen lights and busted cars

Whiz past you as your pick thorny vase

The bling of your nasty fake stones

Send shivers down your bones

Did you ever realize that your love is a farce?

The warmth in the water was always sparse

As the camera roams the city’s skyline

Did u notice that obscure ad’s byline?

Didn’t know what you were looking for

Your seas of lies dont kiss the shore

My grey brown lenses see you through

Did the blaze of my grass touch your dew?

Randomness roams your wild brain

As you try to smirk at me but in vain

But i pity your plight and you state of despair

As you cant do a thing to repair

Those who laugh last are surely the best

As even you know that i have pased the test

So evaporate before i screw you to obvilion

So fuck off and run to hell and beyond

Morbid Monday

I woke up this morning in an incredibly irritable mood. And people have done nothing to help it. People are as gay as ever. Jagan I’m sure is waiting to pounce upon me at the unguarded moment when I decide to check my horoscope. And the week holds out the promise of nothing worth looking forward to. A very good evening to you too.

I’m going through one of those phases where I feel like running away from it all. I don’t know if I’ve already posted it, but there’s this inspirational strip of Pearls Before Swine which shows the way to kindred souls searching for a way out of this misty maze called ‘the real world’. It’s just not what it used to be. Worked for me for the first two years or so, but it has been steadily downhill ever since. What is a girl to do?

And before any men (I’ve come to the conclusion that chauvinistic is a redundant adjective when describing men; they are all chauvinistic, consciously or subconsciously) suggest that I am pms-ing, let me clarify, I’m far from it. Twenty eight whole days far.

It is so typical for men to label women giving attitude for 7 days a month as abnormal. They give it all the time and they’re normal, we give it some of the time and we’re ‘pms-ing’. Typical. I know I might come off sounding like a man-hating bitch (which is not true, as some previous thoughts will testify to- I’m quite the opposite), but I’m willing to risk that to vent some of this frustration. As is often the case, frustration with one (man) is leading to criticism of all (men).

I hate gay men.

I’m NOT homophobic or against gay rights in any way.

Frank Zappa

This is a song which i totally love and hate at the same time…love cuz it speaks the truth…hate cuz the truth is always painful! Its called ‘Absolutely Free’ and kindly support piracy and download the damn thing from somewhere …its splendid…im not sure you might like it in the first go…but the percussion is rich and glorious….have a blast…!

I don’t do publicity balling for you anymore…

The first word in this song is discorporate.
It means: to leave your body

Discorporate & come with me
Shifting; drifting
Cloudless; starless
Velvet valleys & a sapphire
Sea: wah wah

Unbind your mind
There is no time
To lick your stamps
And paste them in
Discorporate
And we will begin…wah wah!

Flower power sucks!

Diamonds on velvets on goldens on vixen
On comet on cupid on donner & blitzen
On up & away & afar & a go-go
Escape from the weight of your corporate logo!

Unbind your mind
There is no time
Boin-n-n-n-n-n-g
To lick your stamps
And paste them in
Discorporate
And we’ll begin
Freedom! freedom!
Kindly loving!
You’ll be absolutely free
Only if you want to be

Dreaming on cushions of velvet & satin
To music by magic by people that happen
To enter the world of a strange purple
Jello
The dreams as they live them are all
Mellow yellow

Unbind your mind
There is no time
Boin-n-n-n-n-n-g
To lick your stamps
And paste them in
Discorporate
And we’ll begin
Freedom! freedom!
Kindly loving!
You’ll be absolutely free
Only if you want to be
You’ll be absolutely free
Only if you want to be

 

 

 

 

love it…!!!!

Mind’s Mayhem

In the midst of this mayhem in my head, I am unable to get the floss out. It isn’t melancholy or it isn’t indolence, it’s more to do with my current state of mind. I, for sure, don’t need Red Bull to pep me up but it’s more to do with the tornado that is rising in my head. Suddenly I am feeling oh so incompetent and hollow at work. All I can think of is my ability to be supremely inconsistent and the fact that I can surpass even a donkey in idiocy. Suddenly the walls are closing in and the mighty clouds are just about to fall like a brick on my head. It’s infuriating because I haven’t felt like this before.

 

Even while typing this, I am conscious of the grammar as I don’t want to fail here atleast! It’s like a wheel of life that has suddenly stopped. But you feel you are still in motion. Your entire metabolism is still moving for you don’t know what is happening! Fuck, I can’t think of that word which explains it! I am just inept of expressing myself right now and it is so getting on my nerves. The stress it is causing me in unbounded.

 

Did someone tie my hands up or am I being strangled by some monster under my bed? I wish I had the answer to this question. There are things which are simply bogging me down. It’s not that I don’t like my work. I so love it but somehow I am unable to prioritize it and in the process of prioritizing things and doing things perfectly I am wasting a lot of my time as in midst of achieving perfection (read: nirvana) I am losing out on time which is so essential. But then again the question that comes to my mind is that what am I running or rather let me put it as what am I waiting for? Is it bliss? Is it perfection? Is it smooth syndication of work and mind or is it the general mayhem that is supposed to crowd your brain every now and then?

 

*sigh!